Bigsley the Oaf

Masculism Series #2 – Male Desire/Fantasy

Posted in Uncategorized by bigsleytheoaf on February 16, 2013

I believe that there is a relationship between social taboo and law forbidding inter-age romance/sex and the images which mass media portrays as “sexual.”

Part of me wonders if it is precisely the fact that female children are forbidden (to the heterosexual privileged male classes) that creates our (the media’s (their)) obsession with versions of female beauty that are childish – clear skin, large eyes, waifishness. This male obsession (belonging not only to males) desires silly, childlike women – c.f. Victoria’s Secret (

Can we expect anything else? Society forbids X. This forbiddance generates frictions. These frictions take the form of fantasies of indulgence in X.

Let’s be concrete here. There are men who are not allowed to date or have sex with women they are attracted to, because they are too young. Because they have a desire (id) which is forbidden by society (super-ego), fantasy/death-drive is generated. The capitalist media-machine feeds on this death drive by creating images which fixate the target, and then sells to he/she/it.

This obviously does not suggest a solution. I’m not proposing that “we” “allow” 45 year old men to date 13 year old girls. What I am saying is that it is precisely the impossibility of this interaction that creates the fantasy in the mind of the 45 year old man (and probably the mind of the 13 year old girls).

The interesting phenomenon that I predict will occur is that, as young, illegal women become virtually accessible through 18-year-old that look like them, there will be increasing pressure for more and more childish women. Thereby the standards (and so the genetics and cultural frame) will shift to create more of these. In fact, we can already see this happening:

This is some terrifying nightmare shit going on here. The frictions caused by material privilege rubbing against legalization of arcane morality are causing demon creatures to proliferate on both sides of the divide.

Theory $$$ cultural dynamics $$$

You can generalize this pretty easily. E.g. black men are sexualized in some white media because they are forbidden by corresponding white cultures. Black women are not overly sexualized in these white cultures because they aren’t forbidden (since said culture asserts that white females are “better”).

Just think of anything that’s forbidden, and you’ll see corresponding fantasies:

Selling drugs -> dexter, weeds, GTA, etc.
Murder -> horror films, slasher films, news reporting of murders, violent video games
Theft -> heist films, GTA, etc.
Promiscuity -> objectification mags (cosmo, etc.), romance novels, etc.
Incest -> MILF porn, incest porn, etc.
Rape -> Rape porn, tucker max, max hardcore, etc.

etc. etc. etc.

My conjecture (and here’s where shit gets really controversial) is that these “dreams/nightmares” (if you’ll allow me the metaphor) arise out of the frictions caused NOT at the extremes, but at the margins. Behaviors that are “rape-like” (rough sex, aggressive sex, etc.)  but which are forbidden generate the fantasy to perform these. Media is generated to support/reinforce these fantasies, and so they are pushed deeper into the reams of actual rape.

This is the basis of my belief that if, for instance, we were to legalize murder ALMOST NO ONE WOULD MURDER. For support of this idea, please look at Argentina and the Netherlands. Legalizing drugs in these countries caused usage rates to plummet. It is specifically the inability to perform the action, the taboo, that creates the release for many (though don’t get me wrong, drugs are fucking great, and I’m sure I’d still trip & shit even if it were decriminalized/legalized).

So wtf do we do? Can we lift the restrictions? It’s scary. But do you believe the restrictions are really protecting you?

There is more depth here than I am suggesting, however. This is where the masculist criticism comes in. I believe that men are to blame for the stalemate that we’re in. Here’s the issue –

Though these “dreams” are created partly to satisfy desires that cannot be actualized, there are also viewable by people who don’t have these desires. I know what it’s like to have extreme violent desires. I know what it’s like to have extreme sexual desires. However, some people don’t – and when they watch “violence porn” (e.g. horror/action movies) they might be disgusted/scared. Moreover, they might be scared of the people who are viewing them. “What type of people could possibly enjoy this?” They associate those who desire the image with those who desire the actuality.

My claim is that it is the responsibility of men to remove this scary-ass shit from our minds/media/etc. OUR responsibility. Not for the children – for US. It is leading us down dark paths, and it scares the shit out of people.

Fuck – this is so hard to say. Cuz I fucking love scary porn + horror movies + victoria’s secret fashion shows + ultraviolence +c. UGH.

My claim is that there’s a deadlock here, though. Without getting rid of the images of desire, we cannot claim that we are above those desires (so we cannot remove the taboos that prevent their concrete realization). Without getting rid of the taboos, the images will continue to be generated.

We must do the responsible thing. We must get rid of the images and we must wait for the wounds to heal. Can’t we just stop raping + murdering + shit for a LITTLE WHILE GUYS!?! COME ON!!!

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