Bigsley the Oaf

On the Train the World is Full of Magic

Posted in Uncategorized by bigsleytheoaf on January 3, 2013

Was going to acrobatics & waiting for the N. There was this beautiful woman (20-something) with a septum piercing, safety pin through her ear, double lip piercings like fangs, red eye shadow, black leather jacket with bright red leather bones on the arms/back, diagonal-stripe leggings, white & black striped hair. I stared at her, transfixed, but she ignored me/bug.

I got on the N and this homeless guy got on with a baby carriage. I began to study him. He was very clean. His carriage was very clean. He had cleaning products in it, food, and a small cat carrier with a dish of food in it (though no visible cat). He had very kind eyes, but twitched incessantly. He was listening to a single earbud and playing guitar on the carriage handle with his fingers. He had strong hands, gnarled knuckles with whorls of white dried skin around them. I’ve been reading the New Testament and the thought that he was perhaps inhabited by a demon crossed my mind. I wondered if there was a way to heal him, and my heart was filled with radiant love.

My attention vacillated between the man and the woman. At some point my attention shifted back to him and he was cradling the cat, talking to it. I couldn’t hear him over my music, so I took my earbuds out. He was calling it baby and being so sweet to it. He was so unbelievably happy, rubbing it against his face. The cat looked very happy as well. It was clean and skinny, but not unhealthily so. I looked over at the woman, whose face had been zombie-blank up to this point, and there was a wild smile spread over her mouth and features, her eyes twinkling, looking at the man.

He looked at me and smiled and said “I, I need to uhm, get off, get off at Stanyan, can you, you, uhmmmm, I need to get them to put down the ramp? Can you watch my, my st-st-stuff?”

I said, “of course! I can help you carry it down the steps if you want!”

He said that he’d rather use the ramp and went up to the front with his cat, asking the driver to put down the ramp at the next stop. He came back, put the cat in the carrier. He turned to me and said “This is m-m-my first time on the MUNI, I’ve never, never had to use the ra-ramp before, I didn’t, didn’t used to always, be, be like this, I used to play, so, so well, so, I could p-p-play, so well, I could do Jimi and AC/DC, and I was really good, I did-did-didn’t used to live like this, I didn’t use to be like this” and there was a great sadness in his eyes that I felt in my heart.

The stop came and the ramp didn’t drop. The woman behind me said that the ramp was up front of the train and that the man had missed his chance. The doors opened and I offered to help him carry the baby carriage down the stairs. The woman in the red-bone-jacket was getting off at the same place. She held the door open so that we could get it out. On the way down the carriage brushed my ear where I had been pierced, recently. He punched me lightly in the arm and said “Thank You.”

I got back on the train and wondered if the woman had seen me help the homeless man. I wondered if she would have sex with me because I helped him, were I to see her again. I wondered if maybe I had restored some of her faith in yuppie assholes. I wondered if my ear would be infected by contact with his stuff (it wasn’t that clean). I was ashamed of these thoughts. The doors closed and the train took off and I began to weep, hiding my eyes.


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