Bigsley the Oaf

quiet heart

Posted in Uncategorized by bigsleytheoaf on August 27, 2012

Who said Love need be loud?

– The ancestral swell of a tympani drum –

That it could not be found in the quiet pattern of removing clothes from the washer, placing them in the dryer, setting the dials – ?

And I with my American Sensibilities forget too easily that it is everywhere, always,

A rush of birds past my window,

Bella staring at the wall,

Mistakes.

Even in the sorrowful and slow healing which comes when I feel I’m alone, alone, when all I can think is “I am alone,” when I am terrifyingly separated out and the world is moving disjointly.

If I am part of the universe then even when I feel disconnected I am not. The tension of this delusion must exist for some structural purpose which is, perhaps, a healing purpose.

Humans feel above and beyond animals, nature. We separate ourselves out. Perhaps we are healing some tragic wound. Perhaps we need time to cleanse ourselves before we can return.

Then life, and right, is healing, is work.

Struggle towards the light. You can’t help it.

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