Bigsley the Oaf

Lying in Wait

Posted in Uncategorized by bigsleytheoaf on June 30, 2012

I think there is a spirit lying in wait, deep inside of me. I feel it wash over me sometimes, a peculiar blend of emotions – as if I am actually alive and in control. In these moments it feels as if I have the ability to perceive some part of the world as mine, as an extension of me. Mine to control.

Normally, I control my world through subtle and distant means. I am a soul in a mind in a body in a social network in a political network, etc. I perform my rituals and the world shifts slightly to accomodate. I am at equilibrium with my circumstances.

When this spirit rises in me I become connected, and alone, and pure. I feel powerful.

Concretely, this desire manifests in desire to tattoo/create art/graffiti – to select my clothing style precisely – to have a car and craft my destiny – to forge a path, to cut through, to break apart – to bring forth, to call, to beckon.

To fight, to scrape, to cut, to slide my dick down your throat until you choke.

To heal, to hold, to complete, to erase the trauma inherent to an indifferent world.

To act.

I shall attempt to cultivate this spirit.

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