Bigsley the Oaf


Posted in Uncategorized by bigsleytheoaf on April 30, 2010

Goddamn it.

Why am I stuck in so many binds? I will list them and try to describe them honestly. I will warn you that this post will be quite vulgar:

1.) Work binds –

I need to work to make money, so I can’t quit
but I want to make money so that I can be happy, but I can’t be happy if I work

I want to quit my job so that I can have time to pursue my own interests
but I would feel very bad about betraying my fellow workers at this important moment in the company’s history

2.) Social binds

I really want to spend time with friends, on friends, writing emails, communicating
but I feel like I do not have enough time to make such communication complete, meaningful, real

I want to hang out more, “chill more,”
but I worry that I’m not spending my time meaningfully, interestingly, effectively

I want to tell people what they mean to me,
but I don’t want to reify/deify/exaggerate my relationships
I believe that every directed action may be a lie and thus I desire to avoid lies

3.) Romantic binds

I really want to have sex with more women, romance more women, be tied up by more women,
but this would put a strain on my relationship with Jen

4.) Drug binds

I want to smoke, goddamn it!
but it makes me a terror, inconsolable, unfriendly, ruins my health, god

I really want to do more drugs,
but it makes me worse at my job, at thinking, at reasoning, at achieving any sort of semblance of enlightenment

5.) Etc.

Goddamn it, I want to be HONEST again
because I am so very fucking DISHONEST in everything that I do
with everyone I know
in everything that I say
Even here, even now!
But then, if I were to tell the truth
then my careful web of lies would come crashing down and it would just be ME



Posted in Uncategorized by bigsleytheoaf on April 27, 2010

It’s creepy that everyone’s always smiling in pictures. Prove it! Prove you’re happy! Go on! For mommy!

I’ve begun to realize the manifold ultraviolent ways in which society exerts its pressure on you wait, wait, not society precisely.


It’s the strange things I’ve started to believe and see that force my photorictus, a mix, like some wild-eyed robot sitting behind me forcing my liphole anglesup. I can’t explain it – I’ll try, maybe I can explain it.

God! God! Mon Dieu!

Maybe it’s like, realizing you’re small, realizing that all little items are just nothing, a step beyond nihilism – smallism. You can do something, but it’s so small! Nonononononono:

Let me go, seriously, little parasite brain! Let me go! Let me be free for fuck’s sake fuck you GOD!

Oh what is an orgasm? Oh, what’s in it!!! What’s in there!?!

“In?” God!

Every particle of language becomes microscopic and sad, now! Sometimes when you hold me I feel a million miles from earth, baby! And not in a good way!

I seriously flirt with Nihilism, but sometimes reality seems rich and full in precisely the way a memory of its seeming rich does not.

So Nihilism walks into a bar…

Fuck! This isn’t anything, FUCK! Fuck!

Fuck! Where did all the individuals go?

Fuck! When did all the children become these things we see before us, Fuck! My god!

Fuck! What a lost bunch of fuck!

It’s like your life only lasts for as long as the fairy tales you’re born into last, little bubble worlds pop pop.

Imagine a great vast robotic spider harvesting our fairyball worlds like fruit! Imagine it! It’s god’s face you’re staring at!

I need something to pass the time.
I need something to pass the time.
I need something to pass the time.

Before this God rubs out my cigarette-butt life.

drawing code

Posted in Uncategorized by bigsleytheoaf on April 24, 2010

Holy shit you can draw code in Logo 2.0 now. The code I drew/wrote to make the last thing:

x = (rot(-75.964);rot(-10.225);rot(-2.46);rot(-1.325);rot(-0.009);rot(-0.017);rot(0.0);rot(32.854);rot(19.763);rot(23.198);rot(-4.142);rot(4.051);rot(9.818);rot(2.671);rot(1.649);rot(0.083);rot(-12.938);rot(-8.24);rot(-19.331);rot(-27.311);rot(29.834);rot(-41.69);rot(-6.507);rot(9.516);rot(-6.908);rot(14.82);rot(0.609);rot(2.297);rot(1.427);rot(0.75);rot(18.276);rot(0.343);rot(0.038);rot(8.915);rot(5.606);rot(2.922);rot(27.206);rot(-13.477);rot(-8.336);rot(3.39);rot(16.617);rot(-14.532);rot(-1.382);rot(-20.834);rot(17.337);rot(-41.252);rot(-0.474);rot(-10.808);rot(-0.889);rot(-5.383);rot(3.338);rot(-2.01);rot(-2.489);rot(-5.017);rot(-19.738);rot(-24.595);rot(-3.709);rot(-0.329);rot(-31.599);rot(-9.945);rot(11.315);rot(-9.352);rot(-5.186);rot(-0.229);rot(-0.011);rot(0.0);rot(51.88);rot(5.274);rot(1.966);rot(2.243);rot(3.68);rot(-0.452);rot(4.185);rot(8.675);rot(-14.225);rot(26.216);rot(0.41);rot(0.096);rot(-44.204);rot(27.067);rot(-27.393);rot(-0.286);rot(-0.104);rot(-0.016);rot(-9.295);rot(-1.466);rot(-17.19);rot(-14.708);rot(-0.985);rot(-0.859);rot(-19.466);rot(-12.398);rot(-6.877);rot(-10.562);rot(-9.695);rot(10.212);rot(-19.025);rot(2.816);rot(-24.95);rot(-0.552);rot(-0.012);rot(0.0);rot(0.0);rot(18.079);rot(3.575);rot(2.267);rot(-12.47);rot(18.438);rot(21.247);rot(15.87);rot(-1.592);rot(7.094);rot(-3.792);rot(1.64);rot(10.739);rot(-8.492);rot(11.38);rot(41.935);rot(38.885);rot(-20.906);rot(-19.335);rot(-33.499);rot(-1.034);rot(-0.028);rot(-0.001);rot(-44.213);rot(-0.539);rot(-12.433);rot(10.93);rot(-6.677);rot(-11.112);rot(0.304);rot(0.183);rot(14.846);rot(-19.716);rot(10.297);rot(18.278);rot(13.803);rot(4.814);rot(7.141);rot(5.976);rot(-2.998);rot(1.808);rot(3.638);rot(1.829);rot(29.803);rot(22.23))

y = (rot(-126.534);rot(20.33);rot(14.27);rot(15.119);rot(9.286);rot(-0.785);rot(5.446);rot(2.288);rot(4.486);rot(3.602);rot(2.123);rot(4.033);rot(3.486);rot(4.833);rot(4.561);rot(0.894);rot(4.274);rot(0.479);rot(11.311);rot(10.905);rot(9.61);rot(5.013);rot(10.376);rot(21.754);rot(2.455);rot(6.68);rot(1.935);rot(7.45);rot(-2.905);rot(-3.358);rot(3.009);rot(15.445);rot(37.796);rot(-13.92);rot(11.45);rot(1.7);rot(0.395);rot(0.185);rot(0.085);rot(0.057);rot(0.039);rot(0.027);rot(-356.637);rot(2.756);rot(5.496);rot(1.997);rot(1.827);rot(2.849);rot(9.085);rot(3.573);rot(6.998);rot(6.679);rot(0.073);rot(2.268);rot(2.07);rot(4.649);rot(-0.829);rot(2.793);rot(3.162);rot(6.606);rot(3.445);rot(4.244);rot(-11.937);rot(27.087);rot(1.73);rot(0.102);rot(0.004);rot(0.0);rot(0.001);rot(0.0);rot(0.0);rot(17.424);rot(-15.672);rot(8.987);rot(14.328);rot(-1.115);rot(2.621);rot(2.595);rot(-0.549);rot(2.184);rot(1.921);rot(0.903);rot(-1.876);rot(1.214);rot(7.147);rot(4.037);rot(0.194);rot(0.152);rot(6.813);rot(2.377);rot(4.895);rot(10.028);rot(3.852);rot(5.895);rot(0.123);rot(1.876);rot(1.936);rot(-0.837);rot(2.054);rot(0.543);rot(1.328);rot(0.663);rot(0.549);rot(4.334);rot(3.564);rot(-0.683);rot(1.39);rot(1.257);rot(1.372);rot(3.117);rot(3.8);rot(6.201);rot(4.165);rot(3.53);rot(3.444);rot(3.49);rot(6.343);rot(1.086);rot(2.013);rot(3.771);rot(2.274);rot(2.169);rot(4.308);rot(2.126);rot(0.475);rot(2.211);rot(3.327);rot(2.425);rot(2.355);rot(1.289);rot(0.955);rot(0.681);rot(0.443);rot(0.438);rot(0.433);rot(1.213);rot(1.389);rot(1.176);rot(1.318);rot(0.444);rot(1.251);rot(0.372);rot(0.241);rot(0.12);rot(0.123);rot(1.36);rot(3.117);rot(1.853);rot(2.612);rot(1.587);rot(0.757);rot(1.519);rot(0.696);rot(-0.089);rot(1.826);rot(-0.125);rot(1.654);rot(4.473);rot(2.574);rot(2.035);rot(1.952);rot(2.676);rot(2.103);rot(2.47);rot(1.666);rot(1.207);rot(0.354);rot(2.057);rot(1.931);rot(2.0);rot(3.354);rot(2.842);rot(2.979);rot(1.621);rot(2.436);rot(0.98);rot(1.319);rot(0.333);rot(0.944);rot(0.942);rot(2.267);rot(2.366);rot(3.329);rot(2.826);rot(3.426);rot(3.958);rot(1.174);rot(1.675);rot(0.48);rot(0.159);rot(1.052);rot(2.698);rot(1.197);rot(1.585);rot(2.487);rot(1.936);rot(1.58);rot(0.97);rot(0.462);rot(0.001);rot(-359.069);rot(-0.015);rot(1.405);rot(1.39);rot(1.898);rot(1.415);rot(0.927);rot(1.01);rot(0.516);rot(0.529);rot(1.084);rot(0.555);rot(0.569);rot(0.856);rot(1.379);rot(0.165);rot(0.176);rot(1.386);rot(0.713);rot(1.466);rot(0.754);rot(0.78);rot(0.806);rot(0.836);rot(0.866);rot(-0.367);rot(0.935);rot(0.972);rot(1.014);rot(1.059);rot(1.107);rot(1.159);rot(2.405);rot(0.497);rot(1.294);rot(1.365);rot(1.443);rot(3.0);rot(1.561);rot(1.663);rot(1.777);rot(-3.469);rot(2.168);rot(4.562);rot(2.399);rot(2.651);rot(2.967);rot(-1.292);rot(4.171);rot(5.069);rot(6.618);rot(-29.658);rot(49.943);rot(0.451);rot(0.103);rot(0.052);rot(0.001);rot(0.0);rot(0.0);rot(0.0);rot(0.0);rot(0.0);rot(2.598);rot(4.488);rot(1.529);rot(1.318);rot(-0.461);rot(-0.924);rot(-1.594);rot(-1.242);rot(-1.517);rot(0.194);rot(1.137);rot(0.861);rot(0.318);rot(0.627);rot(0.592);rot(2.019);rot(0.856);rot(-0.205);rot(1.538);rot(3.134);rot(4.313);rot(3.415);rot(2.588);rot(0.972);rot(1.788);rot(1.79);rot(1.65);rot(3.509);rot(4.315);rot(1.932);rot(1.333);rot(1.095);rot(1.689);rot(2.53);rot(2.845);rot(3.161);rot(2.784);rot(1.86);rot(0.726);rot(0.872);rot(0.871);rot(0.958);rot(0.916);rot(1.701);rot(1.136);rot(0.919);rot(0.188))


SO $$$$$


Posted in Uncategorized by bigsleytheoaf on April 24, 2010

Logo 2.0

Posted in Uncategorized by bigsleytheoaf on April 24, 2010

As I continue working on this project I realize that my aim is to write a programming language that functions at the level of mind.

I believe that thoughts are simple. They are complicated in the sense that an executing ruby program is complicated – it relies on a history, on an interpreter, perhaps on a virtual machine, on a functioning processor of a certain type, on an environment, etc. But they are simple in the sense that a ruby program is simple – it may be only a few lines expressing a concept very purely:

10.times do



prints “hi” to your console 10 times. The fact is that this simplicity of expression is possible because the manifold details of its support are hidden.

The fact that thoughts are simple implies that they should be simply expressible, given the correct language. A language is precisely a complicated set of details hidden by a symbolic layer of abstraction.

Logo 2.0 aims to give the user the experience of writing programs at the level of mind.

Three new features (one implemented, one under construction) further this aim:

1.) Macro recording – you can type “startMacro”, execute a list of commands, then type “endMacro <variable name>” to store the list of commands in variable name. You can then replay the commands by typing <variable name>.

2.) Drawing code – you can draw on the screen and it will produce code to produce an approximation to the drawings you’ve made – this literally means that you can draw code.

3.) Macro modifiers – there are any number of modifiers that can be applied to a string of commands

– they can be reversed: r;l;f;f -> f;f;l;r
– they can be spliced with another r;l;f -> r;f;l;f;f;f
– they can be cut in half: r;l;f;f -> r;l -or- f;f
– there can be substitutions made: r;l;f;f -> r;r;f;f (r substituted for l)


Imagine this flow for a moment – you open up the system, draw some stuff which gives you some code. Then you use one of these modifiers on the code – reverse it, produce the opposite chirality (replace rot(x) with rot(-x)), splice it with f to make it longer, change the length or the color of it, etc.

I’m not sure that there is another programming language system that so closely couples signified and signifier. The possibilities are endless and exciting.

[As a side note, what we refer to as a natural language is not actually a single natural language – it is a large set of natural languages with procedures for disambiguation/clarification along the borders.]

Screenshots, as promised

Posted in Uncategorized by bigsleytheoaf on April 24, 2010

These are kind of crappy screenshots, but whatever:

new work

Posted in Uncategorized by bigsleytheoaf on April 8, 2010

Lot of new work, recently:

– Started Male CyborgNinja Man Game with Jason

– Foundational work on ProjectX

– Lots of enhancements to Logo2.0

Screenshots pending!