Bigsley the Oaf

entangled in noise cling noise noisy cling

Posted in Uncategorized by bigsleytheoaf on March 11, 2010

I hate the extent to which I have become entangled in elements of the world that have no better categorization than: Noise.

The world is mostly noise. Most of everything is noise. Evolution is infinite little rock climbers throwing infinite little grappling hooks in infinitely many random directions, each one hoping (infinitely) to pull him or herself above all the other infinite little rock climbers (more places to throw your hook up there!)

You may have value, you may not, your conception and rearing may have been just noise, it may have not. If you were raised in some sort of powerful tradition, placed in a position of power, etc. then you are extending something non-noisy. If you have risen from shit to be a flower then you have value – you are non-noise. You are a statement of truth about reality, or at the very least social reality. There is a lot that can be said about the relative levels of noise in the various parts of society.

But. The point is that most of what goes on around you c0nsists of people trying things randomly. They come up with all sorts of justifications for what they do, schemes, etc. But it’s all bullshit – it’s just noise.

Most of how people look is noise. Beauty is rare and easy to crush. It is very difficult to produce – ugly people do not have beautiful children – ever. Ever. Ever.

If you have any value whatsoever – if you are bright or funny or creative or beautiful or tough or sincere or …

If you have any value whatsoever then those infinite rock climbers are looking for you – you are the rocks and they want to snare you with their hooks and use your value. They want to entangle you so that they can stand on your shoulders and throw more noisy hooks infinitely above you. They want it more than they want anything.

Note what happens when you signify value – if you are hot (bless your soul), if you make a lot of money, if you indicate intelligence? People crowd around, people want to hear what you have to say, people want to know your contact info, people want to friend you on facebook, people want to ensnare you, trap you, bask in the warmth of your awesome.

Well -fuck them-.

I decided today that I’m going to stop giving a shit. There are lots of people who I don’t like – they aren’t funny, aren’t interesting, aren’t sincere, don’t try hard, aren’t beautiful, aren’t rich, aren’t etc. etc. Nothing against them personally – I just have no interest.

I’ve come to realize that I have lots of 1-way relationships where people like me, a few 2-way relationships where there is mutual respect, and maybe 1 or 2 1-way relationships in which I am the clingy fuck. KC comes to mind, but besides that, well, let me know. I tend to not cling. Maybe I cling more than I know.

—–

The first step in resolving this imbalance is that I’m cutting ties motherfuckers. I’m unfriending everyone who I don’t care about from facebook. It’s not that I love you, it’s not that I hate you – I nothing you. The criteria I used were very simple:

1.) Have I talked to you within the past 10 years?

2.) Is there anything positive that I can honestly say about you – that I would honestly say to someone I respect and trust?

3.) Have we ever had a conversation lasting longer than 20 minutes?

If I can’t answer “yes” to 2 or more of these questions then you are gone. I’m tired of swimming in a sea of losers. I’ve already cut my number of friends from 290 to 135. Think about what this means! This means that there were 155 people who I don’t/didn’t give a shit about who wanted to be my friend. Maybe it helps if you know that I have never added anyone as a friend on facebook.

Basically, I’m done with acquaintanceship. Why does the fact that I met you mean that I should continue to think about you, know you, privilege you with my thought? Why do you deserve it anymore than anyone else? Oh, so I knew you in highschool -> I should care about you now? Why?

I think that there is nothing “amoral” or “cold” about what I’ve stated above. I think there is nothing “cruel” in my approach. Knowledge or awareness of grief makes it no more grievous. Visibility is an informational concept, not a normative one. The fact that I know of a certain person’s suffering does not necessarily entitle that person to more of my resources than another, unknown person’s suffering entitles them. This is not to say I am against assuaging suffering – what it is to say is that I am not going to build my life up with parasites clinging all around.

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